Real Chance of Love, Episode 9: Who sucked who’s dick?

19 12 2008

Both Real and Chance have three girls left for each of them, and it’s time to meet the parents! These episodes are awesome because they get to introduce their parents to girls named “Milf” and “Corn Fed”. Hah!

Real’s girls are first to meet mom and dad and they each do some folksy ranch shit, like lassoing bulls and shooting things. Milf and Corn Fed have pretty normal dates, but Bay Bay Bay spends the entire time bitching incessantly about how Milf is a skanky whore or something. It’s getting old already.

Meanwhile, Chance is with his girls at a tattoo parlor. Cali and Risky dive in headfirst: Cali gets a fanciful “K” on her neck (it stands for Chance’s real name, Kamal) and Risky gets the word “Stallionette” on her shoulder. Rabbit is, understandably, a pussy and gets a Chinese character tattooed on her foot. She tells Chance it’s his name, but it really means “love”. Clever girl.

The girls all go back to their hotel suite. Real’s girls prepare for dinner with the parents that night, and Chance’s girls talk about their tattoos. Bay Bay Bay talks about her plan for dinner: Be a loud, insufferable bitch. I have to give her credit for sticking to what she’s good at.

Dinner: Corn Fed talks about how it’s not about race, because it’s not. Milf talks about her spiritual connection with Real. And Bay Bay Bay’s plans of being incredibly fucking irritating come to fruition, of course. She rants and raves about how Milf is a lying slut. Real confronts Milf about her softcore porn past, and she handles it pretty well, talking about how she needed to care for her son. Bay Bay Bay will just not let anything go and screams over everybody about how Milf is a whore, continuing for the rest of dinner. I don’t even like Milf that much, but I’m beginning to, if only out of spite.

The girls go back to their hotel room. Bay Bay Bay will not drop it, even breaking out the bible to read about how Milf is the devil. Does the bible really say that? I guess if anyone knows, it’s Bay Bay Bay. Milf is clearly cracking at the seams, and she decides to reveal some TRUTHS. The previews have me believe that Milf is about to accuse Bay Bay Bay of having sucked Chance’s dick. I am thrilled.

Wait.

Risky? Risky sucked Chance’s dick? WHO GIVES A SHIT?! But Risky is pissed. “I ain’t neva sucked a dick in my whole life!” she says. A likely story. Risky is fucking pissed. The world pretty much explodes right here.

riskypissed

TO BE CONTINUED!

Next week: the [hopefully] exciting conclusion to this disaster, Chance’s dates meet Mom and Dad, and perhaps an elimination!

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